ABOUT Granny

---

What IS the matter with Granny?

Oh, children. Sit down and let me tell you Granny's tale. Granny wasn't always so mean. She was once young and full of smiles. But as the years past, Granny saw the world change, saw how people transformed from kind, caring individuals to rude, inconsiderate clods, honking mercilessly at poor Granny when her Studabaker failed to do more than 35MPH, hurrying to cut Granny off at the ATM window, or take the last cut of roast beef at the deli counter.

And then Granny's last ray of hope - books, glorious, wonderful books - were being ripped to shreds by mean-spirited reviewers. Why, pray tell, was it necessary to mock, ridicule, or publicly humiliate? Do these reviewers think that an author set out to make them hate the book?

So, you ask, does Granny like all the books she's read? No. But Granny will try to speak cohesively about why she liked or didn't like a book. What is the purpose of calculated cruelty? Some reviewers who try to be constructive are callously disregarded as being "too nice" to the authors, and that if said author can't "take it" they shouldn't write.

Why, I ask? Have authors suddenly morphed into something less than human? Are they not expected or allowed to have feelings over something they worked hard on? This train of thought is baffling. Perhaps if reviewers offered more insight as to why something didn't work for them, the author might, in turn, come to a better understanding of his or her work.

Call Granny old and feeble-minded, but this seems a plausible concept.

Will Granny always be so mean?

Granny does have mood swings. Hormone replacement therapy is not working, and neither is Mr. Gaggles' viagra. This can make Granny testy. Granny is seeking inner peace, but she doubts she will find it in this lifetime.